Great work, I actually laughed at that funny ending. Keep it up!

I think the original's much better. You should try to use instruments that don't sound too ear-piercing.

The voices weren't very coordinated, as evident from 0:02 when the different voices started at different times. It wasn't very in tune and the chords didn't click. Good try though.

The bass vocals were good and created a spooky atmosphere. You might want to consider adding more variations such as drum patterns because it gets repetitive.